I oft’ refer to myself, as MR LESLIE
Cos the USA folk, don’t know how to address me
Some call me Mrs, and some even call me Miss
And some of them send me a whopping great kiss.

Some even still think that I’m just an old slime
But they’d better call me it, for the very last time
If ONE again calls me, You silly old Hag!
I’ll give them a wallop with my shopping bag.