Riding my snorting white charger
(It’s a push-bike you silly old fool)
I wave at excited admirers
(Well, two kids on their way back to school)

I scan the distant horizon
(Admit it you need some new specs.)
Looking for damsels to rescue
(It’s you who is deep in distress)

I laugh at the first signs of danger
(A stupid sad smile on your face)
Resolve to fight any dragons
(You’d run and be first in the race)

I’m dressed in all of my finery
(Jeans and a t-shirt from ”Next”)
My loved one’s favour is with me
(Blimey! It was only a text!)

A dragon then rears up before me
(That mangy mongrel next door)
I battle the beast to submission
(You fell off your bike to the floor)

I circle the beast in fair combat
(He’s biting your left trouser leg)
Then re-mount my trusty white charger
(It’s only an old sit-up and beg)

Flushed with the success of battle
(The blood pressure’s up once again)
I stable my horse and retire
(And dream of my last week in Spain)

(With apologies to Miguel de Cervantes)