Sound advice

The flip of a single flip-flop The sound of a one-handed clap The whisp of a toned down whisper A sigh from a now homeless chap The silence is there if you listen Take note of the sounds of the Earth The sound of a tear at a Funeral A baby’s first cry at their...

Kevin the Keyhole

Kevin the Keyhole Is a nasty old man Peering through keyholes Whenever he can Watching those ladies undress, Kevin the Keyhole Is a dirty old man Pity he is me Dad

French Toilets – The Mystery

As far back as I can remember France holds this one unfathomable mystery to me How French ladies use their toilets without getting their knickers covered in p**!? I mean the squatting, crouching kind over a drain hole type French loo you can find Where you aren’t sure...

Leave them with a smile

I look back on my distant past The things I’ve seen and done The trials and tribulations The battles I have won The price of beer when I was young I can’t afford it now Existing on a pension As I take my final bow Chips inside Newspaper Fingers black with Ink No...

Fast Shower

In a Hurry to watch the box, rushing from the shower Did the splits upon the floor, could have lain there for an hour 999 was never rung, by Niece with long blonde hair Hobbled to the car some how leaning on a chair A & E was visited regardless of this verse Seen...