Self-medication

by | Oct 6, 2007 | Poetry | 0 comments

You embrace my soul and warm a longing heart
Fill my lonely existence with comfort on empty days
You take away my inhibitions and release the laughter behind the mask
Give meaning to my pain, my feelings find a voice

The friend in time of need, your hospitality is infamous
I cannot live without your vile caress; it gives succour to my weakness
We are a symbiosis of MADness, a mutually assured destruction
Whilst I climb the walls and plumb the depths

The grim reaper knows me well and has visited many times
Despair maintains a constant vigil
I have sacrificed my life upon your alter and loath you with a vengeance
But seek you out at every turn

I dare not face the day without you, even though your fire consumes me
Your demons haunt my every waking hour
I wrestle with my consciousness, a struggle I cannot win
But I will not slip this life, not yet

At last to sleep, a silent desolate refuge, a monotonous empty void
Where all thought is banished
A sublime release from all responsibility, I become as nothing
Unseen and forgotten

No angst or imposition, no pressure to perform
No feeling, nor pain
I succumb to the substance of choice, self-medicated
At least for a while

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