In the soft blue whispering shadows of times now past
When wicked Witches and Demons, their evil spells cast
And when sex was just taken, like a pinch of cold salt
Whilst in sight of their Gods, marriage brought to a halt.
The rulers all lusted, and debauchery was rife
Who then wanted, a troublesome, and nagging old wife
Not when all had what they wanted, without a small care
Either on a soft bed, or sometimes over a chair.
Along came Sir Big-Lance, Yes! A virtuous knight
Then boldly he up spoke, ‘I’ll put these bad things SOON right’
He took out his weapon, for all the people to see
Then the villagers all gasped, It was big as a tree.
Sir Big-Lance, then whirled his weapon up and around
So Witches and Demons all fell, right down to the ground
They knew that if Sir Big-Lance used his weapon on them
That would be the ending of them; goodbye and amen!
Now, this knight and his weapon have the very last say
And they still rule in that Kingdom, to this very day
Population has now grown, with sweet little lasses
Young men with big weapons, and silly moustaches.