In the soft blue whispering shadows of times now past

When wicked Witches and Demons, their evil spells cast

And when sex was just taken, like a pinch of cold salt

Whilst in sight of their Gods, marriage brought to a halt.

The rulers all lusted, and debauchery was rife

Who then wanted, a troublesome, and nagging old wife

Not when all had what they wanted, without a small care

Either on a soft bed, or sometimes over a chair.

Along came Sir Big-Lance, Yes! A virtuous knight

Then boldly he up spoke, ‘I’ll put these bad things SOON right’

He took out his weapon, for all the people to see

Then the villagers all gasped, It was big as a tree.

Sir Big-Lance, then whirled his weapon up and around

So Witches and Demons all fell, right down to the ground

They knew that if Sir Big-Lance used his weapon on them

That would be the ending of them; goodbye and amen!

Now, this knight and his weapon have the very last say

And they still rule in that Kingdom, to this very day

Population has now grown, with sweet little lasses

Young men with big weapons, and silly moustaches.