Here I am again, opening the door of your room!
Sunlight and shadows, the light’s playing tricks!
Yesterday’s here, you’re here!
My heart is full as I step inside.
Happy again, here in your room,
I can see you, sitting cross legged on the bed,
I ask you if you’re ok, and you throw me a quizzical look with that half smile,
“Yes Mum, again the exaggerated sigh! Why not?
“Just making sure, that’s all,” I say.
The ghost of yesterday vanishes, and I’m standing in an empty room!
If I open the drawers your belongings seem to mock me !
All that’s left of you inside the cupboards are plastic reminders, coated in dust.
Your smell is getting fainter!
You were a beautiful child, your silver blonde hair shone like pale sunlight,
Always aloof, living in a world of colours and patterns,
Looks and talent, behind a silent reproof,
Eyes of pale aquamarine blue, you lived in your own world.
I saw your confusion, but also your light,
I’ve often wished I could have shared a moment or two of your perception of things.
Perhaps one day we’ll find a meeting place of communication,
I’d like to reassure you of who you are,
Your difference and special uniqueness are a gift.
I ‘m so proud to have given you life,
Time passes and we both grow older, and wiser!
Years ago my heart was so full when I held you,
Your beautiful face smiling up at me filled me with joy.
Was it only yesterday? I wish it were so!
I would love to put the clock back,
Making it matter, always important, your world all!
My love I throw over you like a mantle,
Sent on the wings of every bird that lands on your roof,
Every day I see your face in my mind,
Have courage, live without fear!